The Art Of Complaining

In life it is quite natural that we do complain. following is a very nice article that i fount on "SISTERS" magazine ....


Have you ever found yourself falling into the habit of complaining, whether the complaint was valid or not? Bint Abdelhamid shares thirteen ways to perfect the art of (not) complaining.

They say that “misery loves company,” and it’s true. I spent some time in an educational institute overseas, where the teaching lay somewhere between mediocre and bad, and the institute policies were even worse. It helped, in a manner of speaking, to sit down with other sisters in the institute and outline all our misery and woes. It made us feel like we weren’t alone.

One of the sisters with us was several years younger than most, and rarely engaged in our “miserable company” sessions. It was obvious she understood all the institute’s shortcomings, but between finding other things to say and knowing it would all be over in a few months’ time, when we could move up to a different, betterrun part of the institute, she managed to always stay positive.

We talked to this young sister once, about her life and family. She was around fifteen years old at the time, and the eldest of three siblings. Their mother was mentally ill, incapable of caring for herself, let alone her family or children; and their father spent most of his time taking care of his ill wife. So caring for the younger siblings, seeing that they were well-fed and getting along in school, among other things, all fell largely on this fifteen-year-old’s shoulders.

It was clear that this sister had a lot to deal with, but she never complained. Even when she described her life, her mother, her responsibilities, she described them matter-of-factly, as simply a part of her existence. If anyone had the right to complain about something, among our gathering, it was this sister; but she never complained.

Unfortunately, we live in a culture of complaining, where it’s easy to strike up a conversation on how ridiculously high the prices are or how bitter cold the weather is. Sometimes, we complain about petty things, and sometimes about larger ones – but whatever it is, we find it easier to pick out the faults of our everyday lives and situations, even when we have so much to be thankful for.

In an effort to train myself to complain less (and hopefully squash the habit of complaining altogether), here is list for thirteen ways to complain less:

1. Make your complaint to Allah
When Yusuf (AS) was separated from his father, and Ya’qoob (AS) lost his eyesight due to sorrow, Ya’qoob (AS) said, “I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah…” [12:86].

Allah is the All-Capable, and the One Who can ease your affairs, so if there is something troubling you, make your complaint to Him, (SWT).

2. Only complain to the people if complaining is beneficial
This may be to get one of your rights, or the right of someone else you know – sometimes, complaining is necessary. Be as kind and polite about it as possible, and don’t overdo it.

3. Talk about practical solutions
Rather than making your complaint a constant, endless whine, talk about practical solutions to the problem you’re facing. Is it a problem without a visible, practical solution? Then make your complaint to Allah!

4. Let the small things pass
Anas ibn Malik said, “I served the Prophet (SAW) for twenty years. He never said ‘uff’ to me, and he never said about anything I had not done, ‘Why didn’t you do it?’ or about something I had done, ‘Why did you do that?’” [Muslim]. Most things are small enough that we can just let them go.

5. Speak about Allah’s favours
Rather than picking out everything that’s wrong in your life, try picking out some of the things that are right, and speaking about them. Allah (SWT) says, “But as for the favor of your Lord, report [it].” Doing this should not only help you avoid complaining, but you’ll also be fulfilling a command from Allah!

6. Remember those less fortunate
One way to jolt yourself back to reality and appreciate Allah’s blessings over you is to remember those less fortunate than you. Read about others suffering in Asia, Africa, and all over the world. Read about orphans in Palestine. Read about the homeless in your own country, your own city – interact with them if possible. Don’t drown yourself in despair, but use these stories as a means to be grateful and to thank Allah for what you have.

7. Reduce the stress in your life
You may be complaining because you have a sizeable amount of stress in your life. You need an outlet, and that’s understandable. Stop multitasking for a bit; take some quiet time out to relax: sit in a darkened room, breathing deeply for a few minutes; go for a walk outdoors; listen to some soothing anasheed, or read some Qur’an.

8. Read stories from the seerah
Take note from the words and ways of the Messenger (SAW), the sahabah, and the righteous generations after them. Learn from their manners and etiquettes in speech.

9. Talk about other useful matters
You don’t have to talk about the mundane things in your life that drive you crazy. Instead, talk about larger things that excite you: new knowledge you’ve learned; projects you’d like to work on; a wonderful nature trip that made you contemplate the beauty of Allah’s creation.

10. Tell funny stories (without lying)
There will still be time for chit-chat with friends and family. Instead of worrying them with complaints they can’t help with, tell them funny stories from work and life, cute things your kids said. Humour is a wonderful way to make everyone feel better!

11. Recognise complaining as a habit
Monitor your speech from time to time. Do you find that complaining is more of a habit than a useful endeavor? Recognising it as a habit is an important first step in learning to squash it.

12. Find better company
Do you find yourself complaining more when you’re around certain people? Maybe it’s because you have little in common with these people, or because they’re uninterested in being positive and thankful. If that’s the case, then it’s time to find better company, company which is a lot less “miserable.”

13. Talk less
In general. If you’ve tried everything you can think of, and still find yourself complaining too much, maybe it’s because you’re talking long after you’ve run out of things to say. Don’t let the shaytaan lead you into useless or harmful talk. Instead, keep your tongue moist with the remembrance of Allah. Repent to Him often. Thank Him often. Praise Him often. Send salutations upon the Messenger (SAW) often.

When I think back to my time at that institute, I realise it’s too late to “undo” the complaining I once did. What I can do now is use that experience as a stepping stone towards complaining less and being more thankful. And instead of concentrating on all the faults of this institute (enumerating them won’t help anyone here), I can tell, instead, about that wonderful fifteen year old sister I met there, about how her more-difficult-life but complaint-free-tongue put me to shame, and about how her patience inspired me to seek the art of not complaining.

Is Humanity skin Deep ????

This little song that I’m singin’ about,
People, you all know that it’s true,
If you’re black and gotta work for livin’,
Now, this is what they will say to you,
They says: “If you was white,
You’s alright,
If you was brown,
Stick around,
But if you’s black, oh, brother,
Get back, get back, get back.”

I was in a place one night,
They was all havin’ fun,
They was all buyin’ beer and wine,
But they would not sell me none.
They said: “If you was white,
You’s alright,
If you was brown,
You could stick around,
But as you’s black, hmm, hmm, brother,
Get back, get back, get back.”

I went to an employment office,
I got a number and I got in line,
They called everybody’s number,
But they never did call mine.
They said: “If you was white,
You’s alright,
If you was brown,
You could stick around,
But as you’s black, hmm, hmm, brother,
Get back, get back, get back.”

Me and a man was workin’ side by side,
Now, this is what it meant:
They was payin’ him a dollar an hour,
And they was payin’ me fifty cent.
They said: “If you was white,
You’d be alright,
If you was brown,
You could stick around,
But as you’s black, oh, brother,
Get back, get back, get back.”

I helped win sweet victories,
With my plow and hoe,
Now, I want you to tell me, brother,
What you gonna do ’bout the old Jim Crow?
Now, if you is white,
You’s alright,
If you’s brown,
Stick around,
But if you’s black, oh, brother,
Get back, get back, get back.

If wishes were horses ........

"If wishes were horses, beggars would ride" is a nice English proverb that I like.And I have a habit of googgling each and ever word or a phrase that come across.(Many time it have given very desirable output as well ;) ) And googgling on this to gave me nice little poem and a song which I like to share with.Also it carries a nice message too... and like ti share it with you
hope you too will enjoy

*******

If wishes were horses

Beggars would ride:

If turnips were watches

I would wear one by my side.

******

Bryan Adams - If Wishes Were Horses Lyrics

Come with me you can wish upon a star
You can do all the things that you've longed to
And you won't have to wonder who you are
You can be anybody you want to
In a land full of promises and kings
All your best laid dreams are for catchin'
You can have the world to tie up on a string
Just close your eyes and imagine

If wishes were horses
Beggars would ride
All dreams and desires would ride along side
Worries and troubles would fall off behind
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride

To a land far or near come along
There's an all new-round everyday glow
Like the young girl sang in the song
"Somewhere over the rainbow"

If wishes were horses
Beggars would ride
All dreams and desires would ride along side
Worries and troubles would fall off behind
If wishes were horses, wishes were horses
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride

Dua when under stress and anxiety

Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Rahim

Alhamdulillah, here are some beauitful dua’a to make when under stress and anxiety – as a means of dispelling fear, of seeking forgiveness of Allah, seeking His aid, protection and guidance. May it be of benefit to us all. for there is not a time in the life of a Mu’min when he does not need the protection and guidance of Allah. And those that turn to Allah sincerely imploring His aid, know that in reality it is Allah that is turning to His slave and servant. Ameen. And know that “When Allah wants to be good to someone, He tries him with some hardship.” (Abu Hurairah)

General advice from Prophet Muhammad (s) when you are in distress or suffering from anxiety:

In hadith #599 narrated by Abdullah ibn Abbas in Sunan Abu Dawood, The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: If anyone continually asks pardon, Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress, and a relief from every anxiety, and will provide for him from where he did not reckon.

When in distress or difficulty or sorrow:

Source for this dua subsection: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, volume 4, no 128

1. Ibn ‘Abbas reported, “The Prophet, peace be upon him, at times of sorrow and grief used to supplicate, La ilaha illa Allah Al-’Azim, Al-’Alim, la ilaha illa Allah, Rabbul ‘arshil ‘Azim, la ilaha illa Allahu, Rabbus-Samawati wa rabbul ardi wa rabbul ‘arshi karim (There is no god but Allah, the Mighty, the Forbearing, there is no god but Allah, the Lord of the mighty throne, there is no god but Allah, the Lord of the heavens and the earth, and the Lord of the throne of honor)’.”
Source: Bukhari and Muslim.

2. Anas said that when the Prophet, peace be upon him, was faced with a serious difficulty, he would always supplicate, “Ya Hayyu, ya Qayyumu, bi-rahmatika astaghithu (O the Living, O the Eternal, I seek help in Your grace).
Source: Tirmidhi

3. Abu Hurairah reported that whenever the Prophet, peace be upon him, was faced with a serious difficulty, he would raise his head to the sky and supplicate, “Subhan-Allah al-’Azim (glory be to Allah, the Mighty).” And when he implored seriously and strongly, he would say “Ya Hayyu, Ya Qayyum (O the Living, the Eternal One).”
Source: Tirmidhi

4. Abu Bakrah reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “The supplications of distress are, ‘Allahumma rahmataka arju, fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘ain, wa aslah li sha’ni kullahu, la ilaha illa anta (O Allah, I hope for Your mercy, so give me not over to my self even for as little as wink of an eye, and set right all my affairs, there is no god but You).”
Source: Abu Daw’ud

5. Asma, daughter of ‘Amais, reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, asked her, “Shall I tell you words that you may say in times of pain or distress. These are, ‘Allah, Allah, Rabbi la ushriku bihi shai’an (Allah, Allah, my Lord, I associate none with Him).” Another narration says that these words should be said seven times.
Source: Abu Daw’ud

6. Sa’d ibn Waqas reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “The supplication made by the Companion of the Fish (Prophet Yunus) in the belly of the fish was, ‘La ilaha illa anta, subhanaka, inni kuntu minaz-zalimin (there is no god but You, You are far exalted and above all weaknesses, and I was indeed the wrongdoer)’. If any Muslim supplicates in these words, his supplication will be accepted.” In another report we read, “I know words that will cause Allah to remove one’s distress. These are the words (of supplication) of my brother Yunus, peace be upon him,”
Source: Tirmidhi

7. Ibn Mas’ud reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “If any servant of Allah afflicted with distress or grief makes this supplication, his supplication will be accepted: ‘O Allah, I am Your servant, son of Your servant, son of your maidservant. My forehead is in Your hand. Your command conceming me prevails, and Your decision concerning me is just. I call upon You by every one of the beautiful names by which You have described Yourself, or which You have revealed in Your book, or have taught anyone of Your creatures, or which You have chosen to keep in the knowledge of the unseen with You, to make the Qur’an the delight of my heart, the light of my breast, and remover of my griefs, sorrows, and afflictions‘.” A supplication in these words will be answered. Allah will remove one’s affliction and replace it with joy and happiness.
Source: Reported by Ahmad and Ibn Hibban

8. Anas reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, used to supplicate, “O Allah, there is no ease except what You make easy, and you alone can turn a difficulty into ease.” (Ibn As-sinni)

Source: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 4, #131

9. Allah’s Apostle used to say at the time of difficulty, “None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, the Majestic, the Most Forbearing. None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, the Lord of the Tremendous Throne. None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, the Lord of the Heavens and the Lord of the Honourable Throne.”

Source: narrated by Ibn Abbas in Sahih Bukhari, volume 9, #526.

Remember that sickness expiates evil deeds and wipes out sins.

Abu Hurairah narrates that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “When Allah wants to be good to someone, He tries him with some hardship.”

Abu Hurairah also reports that Allah’s Messenger, peace be upon him, said:
“For every misfortune, illness, anxiety, grief, or hurt that afflicts a Muslim -even the hurt caused by the pricking of a thorn – Allah removes some of his sins.”

Ibn Mas’ud said: “I visited the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,
while he had a fever. I exclaimed: ‘O Messenger of Allah! You have a high
fever! ‘ He said: ‘My fever is as much as two among you [might have]. ‘ I
asked: ‘Is it because you have a double reward?’ He replied: ‘Yes, that is right. “No Muslim is afflicted with any hurt, even if it is no more than the pricking of a thorn, but Allah wipes off his sins because of it and his sins fall away from him as leaves fall from a tree‘.”

Abu Hurairah (r) said: “The Prophet, peace be upon him, remarked: ‘The example of a believer is like a fresh tender plant; from whichever direction the wind blows, it bends the plant. But when the wind dies down, it straightens up again. (Similarly a believer is tested by afflictions to strengthen his faith and heart, and he remains patient and firm). And an evil person is like a pine tree which remains hard and stiff until Allah breaks it whenever He wills.”

Source: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, volume 4, #1

source : http://dailyreminders.org/dua-when-under-stress-anxiety/

The Santos Times: Thinking like a man or a woman?

The Santos Times: Thinking like a man or a woman?

A cool article ....

Flowers Are Red - Zain Bhikha

There are many individuals who have beautiful creative thought and ideas which are so unique. But the society forgets to look into the talents and ideas they poses and they look down those ideas in a disguising way. And always the society want every one to look at thing in the same way that is being seen. Rather than re- thinking whether if it correct or wrong. And the society looks at that creative mind in a very sarcastic manner and try to mentally put the person down.

Since that innovative individuals merely get bad feedbacks and criticism instead of encouraging words and helping hands, with the time, willingly or unwillingly give up their excellent ideas, thought and attitudes and simple try them self to fit into the society to survive in the world rather than making their dream true.

But if those ideas are nourished well how nice the final result will be?... but how many of us do thing about these consequences ??????

I like this song a lot since this too carry a message of such....... lets us rethink...... It is sure that we will be able to build up a nice society.........

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Flowers Are Red lyrics by Zain Bhikha

A little boy went first day at school
He got some crayons and he started to draw
He put colors all over the paper
For colors was what he saw
The teacher said, 'What you doin' young man?'
'I'm paintin' flowers see'
'Well this is not the time for art young man
And anyway flowers are green and red
There's a time for everything young man
a way it should be done
You've got to show concern for everyone else
For you're not the only one'
And she said...
'Flowers are red
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than they way they always have been seen '
But the little boy said...
'There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one'
Well the teacher said� 'You're sassy
There's a way that things should be
And you'll paint flowers the way they are
So repeat after me...'
she said...
'Flowers are red
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than they way they always have been seen '
But the little boy said again...
'There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one'
Well the teacher put him in a corner
She said� 'It's for your own good�
And you won't come out 'til you get it right
responding like you should'
Well finally he got lonely
Frightened thoughts filled his head
And he went up to that teacher
And this is what he said
'Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen'
Well time went by like it always does
he moved to another town
And the little boy went to another school
And this is what he found
The teacher there was smilin'
She said...'Painting should be fun
And there are so many colors in a flower
So let's paint every one'
that little boy painted flowers
In neat rows of green and red
And when the teacher asked him 'why'
This is what he said..
'Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen.'
But there must still be a way to have our children say,
There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one
There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one

THE BIGGEST LITTLE WORDS

The Story of Human Life on Planet Earth...

Closed Doors and the Illusions That Blind Us

Yesterday my 22 month old sought to exercise his independence. After climbing out of his car seat, he wanted to shut the car door like a big boy, so I stood there watching over him. Realizing that if I left him to shut the door, his little head would have gotten slammed in the process, I lifted him away, and shut the door myself. This devastated him, and he broke down in tears. How could I prevent him from doing what he so badly wanted to do?

Watching the incident, a strange thought crossed my mind. I was reminded of all the times this had happens to us in life—when we want something so badly, but Allah does not allow us to have it. I was reminded of all the times we as adults felt this same frustration when things just wouldn’t work out the way we so desperately wanted them to. And then suddenly, it was so clear. I had only taken my son away from the door to protect him. But he had no idea. In the midst of his mourning, he had no idea that I had actually saved him. And just as my son wept in his naivety and innocence, so often we too bemoan events that have actually saved us.

When we miss a plane, lose a job, or find ourselves unable to marry the person we want, have we ever stopped to consider the possibility that it may have been for our own good? Allah tells us in the Quran: “…But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (2:216)

Yet it is so difficult to look beyond the surface of things. It takes great strength to see beyond the illusions, to a deeper truth—which we may or may not understand. Just as my son could not understand how my depriving him of what he most wanted at that moment was in fact my looking out for him, we are often just as blind.

As a result, we end up staring indefinitely at the closed doors of our lives, and forget to notice the ones that have opened. When we can’t marry the person we had in mind, our inability to look beyond may even blind sight us from someone who is in fact better for us. When we don’t get hired, or we lose something dear to us, it’s hard to take a step back and notice the bigger picture. Often Allah takes things away from us, only to replace them with something greater.

Even tragedy may happen in this way. One can imagine few calamities more painful than the loss of a child. And yet, even this loss could happen to save us and give us something greater. The Prophet said:

If the child of a servant (of Allah) dies, Allah says to His Angels: ‘Have you taken the child of My servant?’

The Angels reply: ‘Yes.’

Allah says to them: ‘Have you taken the fruit of his heart?’

They reply: ‘Yes.’

Then Allah says to them: ‘What did my servant say?’

The Angels reply: ‘He praised Allah and said: ‘To Allah do we return.’

Allah tells them: ‘Build a home for my servant in Paradise and call it Baytul Hamd (the House of Praise).’ [Tirmidhi]

When Allah takes something as beloved from us as a child, it may be that He has taken it in order to give us something greater. It may be because of that loss, that we are admitted into paradise—an eternal life with our child. And unlike our life here, it is an everlasting life where our child will have no pain, fear, or sickness.

But in this life, even our own sicknesses may not be what they seem. Through them Allah may be in fact purifying us of our sins. When the Prophet was suffering from a high fever, he said: “No Muslim is afflicted with any harm, even if it were the prick of a thorn, but that Allah expiates his sins because of that, as a tree sheds its leaves.” [Bukhari]

In another hadith the Prophet explains that this applies even to sadness and worry. He says: “Whenever a Muslim is afflicted with a hardship, sickness, sadness, worry, harm, or depression – even a thorn’s prick, Allah expiates his sins because of it.” [Bukhari]

Or consider the example of poverty. Most people without wealth would never consider that a possible blessing. But for the people around Qarun, it was. Qarun was a man who lived at the time of Prophet Musa who Allah had endowed with such great wealth, that even the keys to his wealth was itself wealth. The Qur’an says: “So he came out before his people in his adornment. Those who desired the worldly life said, ‘Oh, would that we had like what was given to Qarun. Indeed, he is one of great fortune.’” (28:79)

But Qarun’s wealth had made him arrogant, ungrateful, and rebellious against Allah. Allah says: “And We caused the earth to swallow him and his home. And there was for him no company to aid him other than Allah, nor was he of those who [could] defend themselves. And those who had wished for his position the previous day began to say, ‘Oh, how Allah extends provision to whom He wills of His servants and restricts it! If not that Allah had conferred favor on us, He would have caused it to swallow us. Oh, how the disbelievers do not succeed!’” (Qur’an, 28:81-82) After seeing the fate of Qarun, the same people became grateful that they had been saved from his wealth.

But perhaps there is no better example of this lesson, than in the story of Musa and Al-Khidr that were are told about in Surat Al-Kahf. When Prophet Musa was traveling with Al-Khidr (who commentators say was an angel in the form of a man), he learned that things are often not what they seem, and that the wisdom of Allah cannot always be understood from the surface. Al-Khidr and Prophet Musa came upon a town whereupon Al-Khidr began to damage the boats of the people.

On the surface, this action would seem to have been harmful to the poor owners of the boats. However, Al-Khidr later explains that he was in fact protecting the people, and saving the boats for them. Allah tells us in the Qur’an: “[Al-Khidhr] said, ‘This is parting between me and you. I will inform you of the interpretation of that about which you could not have patience. As for the ship, it belonged to poor people working at sea. So I intended to cause defect in it as there was after them a king who seized every [good] ship by force.’” (18:78-79)

In damaging the boats, Al-Khidr was actually protecting the people by making the boats undesirable to the king who had been seizing them by force. And sometimes in life, that’s exactly what happens. In order to save us, something is taken away from us, or given to us in a way we don’t want. And yet to us—as it did to a 22 month old boy—it looks only like a closed door.

source : http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/closed-doors-and-the-illusions-that-blind-us/

Happy Endings?

She looked me in the eyes, as the dark shapes of policemen gathered behind the rippled glass of the door. “I hear voices in my head. I ask other people, and they all say that that’s not normal, that they don’t have voices in their heads.” She paused, looked down at herself, gestured hopelessly at her tattered wife-beater and shorts. “I didn’t use to be a loser. I came from an educated family; I remember when I was happy…when I thought life was pretty good. But – I lost everything. Why am I being tested like this? I am so lonely. No one understands. No one cares. I look around and I see everyone happy. Why am I so miserable?” As the police handcuffed her and took her away, to a psychiatric hospital where she would be forcefully medicated, her words rang in my mind.

I had been enjoying a close friend’s wedding celebration at the Islamic center and had dared to hope – for a few, precious moments – that life had returned to normal after a series of harrowing experiences in the past few months. As I sat after prayer, having just asked Allah for guidance and strength, I saw her walk into the masjid, thread her way through the worshipers, and take a seat at the corner of the prayer hall. I quickly got up and walked over, anticipating the scandalized reactions from attendees: “She’s in shorts! At the masjid!” I had known her for six months, been there when she had taken shahada, let her stay at my house, driven her to a drug-testing facility so that she could help fight for custody of her son, worked with local Muslim charities and social workers to get her a stable place to live…but to no avail. That night, after I took her outside, she said she was suicidal, that she wanted to hurt others, that the voices in her head were driving her – literally – insane. Due to the sensitivity caused by the Fort Hood event, the masjid administration felt it was necessary to call the police.

After the cop cars pulled out of the parking lot, I felt dazed. Her questions still echoed in my head. It felt like a blow to my heart. I suppose it is the quintessential question that oftentimes pushes people away from faith – why do bad things happen to good people? To people who, in different circumstances, might have been just like us?

When life throws a sucker punch, what better thing to do but pick up the divine book of guidance? In the Qur’an, Allah tells us the story of Prophet Yusuf, using an entire chapter to detail his life from happy child, to scared captive, to slave, to prisoner, to the vizier who saves his people from starvation. If an individual was to meet Yusuf as he lay imprisoned for years in Egypt, and ask the Prophet to retell his story, what would we hear?

We would hear a tale of heartbreak, betrayal, grief, deceit; where a young man is betrayed by his brothers and left to die, sold into slavery, raised far from his loving parents, tricked by his master’s wife, and jailed for false reasons. Looking at his story from this snapshot in time, without knowing the rest of the story, one would be inclined to see the injustice happening to one of the best of creation. What did he do to deserve this? But as his story unfolds, and the Prophet Yusuf is made a vizier of Egypt, he guides his country to successfully survive famine. It becomes clear how every event in his life was divinely ordained by Allah for the good of himself and the good of his people.

Our life on this Earth is but the first act in the grand story of life; the most important events are yet to come. As Judgment Day approaches, we remember that those who may have been miserable in this life, will be the truly successful in the next, eternal life. As the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,

“… One amongst the denizens of Hell who had led a life of ease and plenty amongst the people of the world would be dipped into the Fire only once on the Day of Resurrection and then it would be asked of him: ‘Oh son of Adam, did you find any comfort, did you get any material blessing [on Earth]?’ He would say: ‘By Allah, no, my Lord.’ And then a person from amongst the people of the world [will] be brought who had led the most miserable life in the world [he will be from amongst those destined for Paradise] and he would be dipped once in Paradise; it would be asked of him, ‘Oh son of Adam, did you face any hardship? Has any distress fallen to your lot [on Earth]?’ And he would say, ‘By Allah, no my Lord, never did I face any hardship or experience any distress.’” (Muslim)

It is difficult – perhaps even foolhardy – to judge events in this life when we do not understand the qadr (divine will) of Allah. Perhaps our trials will end in success in this life; perhaps they will guarantee us success in the life to come. Our role is to face our tests with sabr (patience), remembering to have tawakul (trust) in Allah and worshipping Him with sincerity. As Allah says in the Qur’an, “We grant the Home in the Hereafter to those who do not seek superiority on earth or spread corruption: the happy ending is awarded to those who are mindful of God.” (28:83)

source : http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/happy-endings/

Wait for your Turn ......

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A Soul’s Burden

Trials and tribulations are a part of life. We do not like them; we do not like to go through them; but eventually we accept them. Even if we pray, fast, pay our zakat and do all different forms of ibadat we still get tested. Sadness sometimes fills our hearts. We could be the best of practicing Muslims, yet poor and unable to put food on our table. We could be rich yet lonely, or young yet unhealthy. It is in these instances that shaytan starts toying with our head. We look at what others have, especially the non-Muslims, and our core gets rattled. The shaytan ignites a fire that gets our blood boiling, hopelessness and frustration set in, and we ask “Oh Allah, why me?! Why am I being punished?”

Psychologists tell us that human beings go through five stages of emotion when struck with a calamity. Understanding the different stages of grief minimizes the first four stages (which are denial, anger, bargaining and depression) and gets us to the final stage – which is acceptance. I went through these stages on many different occasions, as I am sure you have.

I am not a psychologist nor am I trying to refute the works of psychology, but I would nonetheless like to offer a different view, a Qur’anic view, on how to deal with life’s trials.

Though we do not have a say in when we are born nor in when we die, life has a clear beginning and a clear end. What is sometimes unclear is the journey between the two points. For Muslims, however, the journey could not be any clearer. Allah says in Surat Adh-Dhariyat:

وَمَا خَلَقْتُ الْجِنَّ وَالْإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ

“And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)” (Qur’an, 51:56).

Now think back to the first paragraph of this article. You might think to yourself, “I pray five times a day, I fast during Ramadan and pay my zakat, yet I have an ill child, or still can’t find a job, or this stressor or that.” You begin to wonder why you are going through this and why you are being “punished.” Before you know it, shaytan takes the helm and you are on a slippery slope of anger and denial.

Before falling down that slope, one must take a deep breath and ponder the following question: is it punishment or is it a manifestation of what Allah has told us in Surat Al-Ankabut:

أَحَسِبَ النَّاسُ أَنْ يُتْرَكُوا أَنْ يَقُولُوا آمَنَّا وَهُمْ لَا يُفْتَنُونَ

“Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested?” (Qur’an, 29:2)

Allah tells us that through this journey we call life we will be tested. In Surat Al-Baqarah, He says:

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُمْ بِشَيْءٍ مِنَ الْخَوْفِ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِنَ الْأَمْوَالِ وَالْأَنْفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَاتِ

“And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits…” (Qur’an, 2:155)

Tribulations are a part of life but that doesn’t make them easy. We still grieve — but how could we not? We are, after all, a very emotional creation. So how does one cope with adversity? There are many ayat in the Qur’an that talk about different mechanisms of coping such as patience, faith, prayer and acceptance. But what I find the most profound and the most comforting is what Allah says in Surat Al-Baqarah:

لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا

“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an, 2:286).

If you stand back and take a look at the whole picture, you will realize that what you have when faced by a tragedy is a choice. Will you go through the stages of grief, denying Allah’s destiny and the wisdom of His plan for you? Or will you realize that what you are going through is something you know you can handle? Whatever trial comes your way is something that Allah has planned and which He has guaranteed you can handle. This ayah is comforting because I, as a faithful mu’min who believes in Allah and His wisdom, know deep in my heart that although the sadness is cumbersome it will not be overwhelming; that although the times might be tough, I am tougher; and that whatever comes my way will go away; and that eventually I will face my Lord whom, I hope, will be pleased with me as I am pleased with Him.

So when you go through a difficult situation, be it the inevitable death of a loved one or the loss of a job or just a flat tire on the side of the highway, take a deep breath and say:

قُلْ لَنْ يُصِيبَنَا إِلَّا مَا كَتَبَ اللَّهُ لَنَا

“Say: ‘Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allâh has ordained for us…’” (9:51).

Source : http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/a-souls-burden/